Family Curse

That is to say, we're cursed with our family. No one gets a say in who they're related to. If you're lucky, you don't entirely hate the relatives. I guess I can consider myself lucky. I actually like my family. Well, most of them.

My mom always asks me how I got to be so twisted and morbid. Why I favor dark humor, biting wit, and satire. I can honestly tell her that it's because of my family. My family isn't nuturing in the "normal" sense of the word. We care a great deal about one another and will do a lot for each other, but we're also all about toughening up the young ones. I was half babied to death, half scared to death.

That's not to say that I resent that. It made me strong and capable. But I see what it did to some of my other relatives and, well, that's not pretty. My family is split into two "sects": the strong and the weak. Whether you're strong or weak is determined early on. We're the ones with the most scars, both metaphorical and physical.

As an example, I'll tell you how my mom learned to ride a bike. Her oldest brother-- she's smack dab in the middle of seven children-- threw her on a bike that lacked working brakes, he then pushed her off down the steepest hill in the area. I've seen this hill and wonder how she came out alive. It's practically vertical, it's so steep, and it's covered in gravel. With my family, it's a matter of sink or swim. She most definitely learned to ride that bike, and quickly.

Speaking of swimming, I was taught how to swim in a similar way. My uncle-- the second youngest of my mother's sibs-- saw me standing near our pool with a floatie ring around my waist. I was waiting for someone to come swim with me because my mom told me to never go into the pool by myself. My uncle grabbed me up and flung me into the deep end. He didn't realize, of course, that I would slip through the hole in the floaty and sink. But I quickly bobbed to the surface and doggie paddled my way to the edge only to see his shocked face. I can still clearly remember his expression. Did I mention that I was three at the time? I practically lived in water after that day. I wasn't afraid because I knew I could swim without a floatie.

Nevertheless, I make sure that none of my uncles go anywhere near my kids. I don't want them "teaching" them something.